Today has been a very hard trying day. The whining and nothing ever being good enough wears me to the bone more often than not these days :(
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Captain Hook: Now pay attention, class. We have a lot to go over.
Lesson one: Why Parents HateTheir Children.
Anyone? You, the cute little urchin, in the front row. Won’t you share your thoughts, with the whole class?
Maggie: Yes!I said mommy reads to us every night, because she LOVES us very much!
Captain Hook: Loves you? Isn't that the, uh, the...
Smee: The 'L' word, Captain.
Captain Hook: Ooh, yes!
No, child, Your mother wants to read to you every night in order to stupefy to sleep, so that she and daddy could sit down for three measly minutes without you. And your mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive, and nagging demands: He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, now!
Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
Smee: And conk you out.
Maggie: That's not true, Jack! You're a liar!
Captain Hook: Lie? Me? Never. The TRUTH is far too much fun. Oh my child, before you were born, your parents would stay up all night, together, just to see the sun rise. Don’t be frightened. Maggie, before you were born, they were happier. They were free.