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Captain Hook: Now pay attention, class. We have a lot to go over.
Lesson one: Why Parents HateTheir Children.
Anyone? You, the cute little urchin, in the front row. Won’t you share your thoughts, with the whole class?
Maggie: Yes!I said mommy reads to us every night, because she LOVES us very much!
Captain Hook: Loves you? Isn't that the, uh, the...
Smee: The 'L' word, Captain.
Captain Hook: Ooh, yes!
Lesson one: Why Parents HateTheir Children.
Anyone? You, the cute little urchin, in the front row. Won’t you share your thoughts, with the whole class?
Maggie: Yes!I said mommy reads to us every night, because she LOVES us very much!
Captain Hook: Loves you? Isn't that the, uh, the...
Smee: The 'L' word, Captain.
Captain Hook: Ooh, yes!
No, child, Your mother wants to read to you every night in order to stupefy to sleep, so that she and daddy could sit down for three measly minutes without you. And your mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive, and nagging demands: He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, now!
Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
Smee: And conk you out.
Maggie: That's not true, Jack! You're a liar!
Captain Hook: Lie? Me? Never. The TRUTH is far too much fun. Oh my child, before you were born, your parents would stay up all night, together, just to see the sun rise. Don’t be frightened. Maggie, before you were born, they were happier. They were free.
Smee: And conk you out.
Maggie: That's not true, Jack! You're a liar!
Captain Hook: Lie? Me? Never. The TRUTH is far too much fun. Oh my child, before you were born, your parents would stay up all night, together, just to see the sun rise. Don’t be frightened. Maggie, before you were born, they were happier. They were free.
4 comments:
First time I've smiled in a week!
The middle child is gonna give me an aneurysm before Christmas. I swear.
Hang in there. I was feeling like this a couple of weeks back and this week, I'm constantly catching myself beaming at them thinking 'Gosh, I am just the luckiest mum in the world'
And when this passes I shall remind myself that new 'this' will pass too... and moments like this week's will come around again soon... soonish.... eventually! X
Unfortunately, middle child has no saving graces at the moment. From when he wakes up to when he goes to bed he whinges and whines or fights with his siblings.
The kid is just begging for a date with a frypan to the head, lol.
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